------> VISIT MY WEBSITE: DearPatCooper.com
- AN EPILOGUE FROM A FATHERLESS SON -
- It is with mixed emotions and
concern that this last review of my father, legendary comedian Pat Cooper is
posted. It is posted now in his final days of his life and not from a need to
prove or defend the truth, but rather as an obligation to heighten the
awareness of those readers and his fans that may innocently be unaware of his
sixty-year vendetta with his biological family and now his very apparent mental
illness.
– For many years my father Pat
Cooper has used his biological family as a source of material for his act. It
publicly became acceptable for him in this context to embellish the truth as a
source of entertainment for his audience. Nobody in our family ever found
anything wrong with that, actually we were all quite amused and happy for his
success. For me, I felt extra special and loved hearing him talk about me in
his shows and on all his albums.
- However, when my father decided to
write a memoir or a book about his life, (How Dare You Say How Dare Me!) it was
supposed to be an accurate account of all of his past life experiences and even
some present ones. It is necessary that readers be made aware that throughout
his book, the author Pat Cooper, presents many misconceptions with respect to
his earlier biological family relationships and experiences. As one who lived
through many of those experiences, I would have to say that my father’s book, (How
Dare You Say How Dare Me!) presents to the readers and the fans with a
perspective that is very much far from the truth. Somehow in his memoir my
father has chosen to eliminate some very significant events. That material
should have been inputted in his book in order for the reader to see what truly
makes him “TICK,” and he should have added all the “hows” and “whys” he became famous
and ultimately known as the angry comedian.
-The authors’ use of sensationalism
throughout the book is used as a tool to entice the reader’s interest and
curiosity. Perhaps the authors misinterpreted my father’s words (as they were
told to his two co-authors) and would like to add or should have added some of
the information in the following paragraphs below as an epilogue to insure the
memoir was presented with more accuracy and completion.
– It was truly an unfortunate
experience that both my biological sister and I lived through. The impact of
the experience has affected both of our lives in different ways. Sometimes the
true reason as to why things happen is clouded by what we imagine what they
could have been if he had stayed around. Through the years, and by being a
mother, my sister expressed to me several times, and has come to the
realization that it would be impossible for anyone to even begin to try to
rationalize the cowardice actions of any man, any parent, under any
circumstances, who could turn away from his biological children, and then in
turn ADOPT and PURCHASE another daughter and walk away from my sister and I
like we never existed. I have learned that it was necessary to alter
expectations in order to truly accept and understand the emotional limitations
and hypocritical actions of this man. But it was a very painful period for both
my sister and I.
– In the words of Martin Luther King:
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Through the years,
my father has consistently demonstrated that for whatever reason, he was only
capable of achieving the emotional ability to stand as a dark shadow in our
lives. I have always been hurt by that fact yet sadly comforted in a sense to
have come to accept that to have a father who was filled with such anger and
negative energy present in my life, that it would have been much MORE TOXIC to have
him remain around in our lives. It is ironic that through it all, the entire
one thing that we both learned from an absent father and a very present and
loving mother, and grandmother, (his mother), was the true blessings of a loving
family.
- It is really a shame for him that
he was not only unwilling to share in all our wonderful memories and
accomplishments, but also missed out on all the genuine love that truly bonds
our family together. These are things we will always have, as they are truths
within our heart. There is NOTHING that can take them away, not even the
DECEPTIVE WORDS IN HIS BOOK AND EVASIONS OF THE REAL TRUTH IN HIS PERSONAL LIFE
AND HIS STAGE PERSONA. A person can only hide behind an image for so long. Eventually,
in time, the truth somehow always manages to shine through.
- Thank God for my brother’s book,
“Dear Pat Cooper,” (What happened to my father Pasquale Caputo?). It is the
ONLY book that has helped to show the public what really happened. I know
because I am Pat Cooper’s biological daughter and I was there, too! My
brother’s website, DearPatCooper.com, also shows the angry and the vindictive
side of our father, humiliating my brother and the rest of our family on
national television, radio, print, and all social media. This is just the tip
of the iceberg that my brother and I had to deal with: a loveless father who
was emotionally unavailable, verbally abusive, a selfish self-centered,
egotistical, angry, bitter, spiteful and unloving man. But through all that my
brother has prevailed and managed to relentlessly express to a man his
unconditional love and the need for a father’s love. His love of family, writing,
and his tenacity is the ultimate proof of a son’s devotion and unconditional
love for his absent father.
– So to the outspoken and rude co-authors
of Pat Cooper’s book and one of their very uninformed wife, the same cowardly wife
who has since removed her own nasty comments about my brother on Amazon right
under my brother’s personal review of our father’s book. Within forty-eight
hours she immediately removed her nasty comments because of all the unexpected influx
and dozens of TRUTHFUL AND UNFAVORABLE comments that followed her nasty words
about my brother and what he should and shouldn’t be doing with regards to my
father and their relationship or lack thereof. I guess she learned her lesson
and quickly realized that she was the catalyst who started all the controversy
under Pat Cooper’s unfavorable book reviews.
- So I say to ANYONE else who feels
compelled to conjecture on what they perceive as being truth, let me make it
clear to ALL of you one last time. Since all of you were NOT there, are NOT
related to us, have NOT walked in our shoes, you have NO basis or NO right to
offer any opinion. Your perceptions are clearly and only based on the false
image that Pat Cooper has portrayed to you through the years. Therefore, please
do not be so bold and arrogant as to make suggestions as to offering this man,
Pat Cooper, OUR FATHER, unconditional love nor contacting my brother Michael
Caputo by phone, social media, or by sending him hateful emails.
- And may I also add that I, Michael
Caputo, and Pat Cooper’s only son received numerous calls while I was living in
Miami Beach in the summer of 2014 and was told by my father’s close friends
that my father Pat Cooper is a generous, kind loving man, and a devout
philanthropist because he had recently donated $100,000 to the St. Jude Children’s
Hospital and Clinic. That was truly a wonderful gesture and I agreed with his
friend on that one. But once again, I must add that NONE of you were there when
my sister and I were in Family Court numerous times at seven and five years old,
crying and tugging at my mother’s dress because she was there for hours in family
court with us trying to get a measly $40 a week from Pat Cooper so she could
put food on our dinner table. And may I also add that we lived in my
grandmother’s house (Pat Cooper’s mother’s house) rent free for 8 years because
he refused to pay the rent and told his mother to kick us out if her rent was
not being paid.
- So I ask you all again and
reiterate, to the co-authors, their wives and the dear friends of Pat Cooper to
please keep your comments, memories, and devotion about Mr. Cooper to yourself
and stop trying to convince me, Pat Cooper’s son, that my father is and has
been a good father. Stop telling me that I am the son and should be the one to
reach out again for the hundredth time and reconcile. I have reached out to my
father my whole life and the whole purpose of my book (which took me five years
to write) was to reach out to him once again. Nothing ever worked! To all of
you, not related; he might be a good friend, a great comic, but certainly
without a doubt has portrayed himself in all of the media, past and present, a
man that has proven himself to be an emotionally unavailable angry father and a
vindictive son!
- Sadly, time has long passed and love
was something Pat Cooper should have offered his biological children and family
many years ago. No matter how loud he bellows trying to convince himself and
the world otherwise, the truth is: HE NEVER TRIED TO BE OUR FATHER. He instead
substituted by ADOPTING and PURCHASING another child back in 1970 and harbored
resentment for those who tried to help him acknowledge his responsibilities as
a father to his two biological children. I guess that was easier; to be a
coward and turn away. Perhaps maybe these actions were not totally generated by
him but rather from the fear, possessiveness and insecurity harbored by his new
hypocritical religious adulterous wife, Patti Prince. This is something I will
never know, understand, nor does it have any significance in justifying any of his
prior actions. But it still saddens me and now I am truly concerned about his
mental health and who is really there for him now. His co-author/agent also
told me that he no longer speaks to his adopted daughter and her husband
anymore. Now he really has nobody, and I feel everyone in his camp, on and off
his payroll are taking advantage and sabotaging him in his old age.
– However, there is one thing I do
know and that is that I still love and care about him. The feelings that this man has left me with
are not only those of anger, but rather pity. It is so pitiful that my father
has invested so much energy and time in trying to blame others and make excuses
for all of his poor choices, that sadly his entire life has passed by without
knowing and experiencing the love of both his beautiful biological children and
family. It is incomprehensible to even begin to imagine how a SON could lack
compassion and refuse to reconcile with his own loving MOTHER and FATHER before
they passed on.
- It is even more pitiful that his
egocentrically personality has blinded him to be able to see or acknowledge
that through the years it wasn’t only all about him and his feelings. He sadly
doesn’t even realize that his constant “saga” of personal persecution, which he
continually reveals throughout the book, consistently portrays him as an
insensitive, selfish and lonely sole. It seems that Pat Cooper is always
throwing a perpetual tantrum and playing ‘the victim’ about things that didn’t
go his way. He appears to be a man who was never happy in either his personal
or professional life. It is really quite sad that at this point in his life he
still has a need to publicly justify his actions by ridiculing his family and
his famous colleagues in show business on all the trash media that will have
him on just to boost their ratings.
- Perhaps maybe he still yearns to
somehow be connected to his biological family and this is unfortunately the
only way he knows how. I guess it is true that “nothing is more wretched than
the mind of a man conscious of guilt.” It’s quite ironic that even though he
dismissed himself from any part of my sister’s life and mine, we still, in a
sense, somehow feel sorry for this man. As I have said; I have learned to
accept his emotional limitations, but realistically I will always be
disheartened by all the anger and resentment he still possesses about two
innocent children and a wonderful loving mother he never had the courage or
took the time to know. I am thoroughly relieved that both my biological sister
and I, Michael and Louise Caputo are VOID of this gene!!
– In conclusion here are some final
words for the man who fathered me, the SPERM DONOR, as some call him, and oh
yes, I must not forget to add and acknowledge the ONE obligation that Pat
Cooper actually fulfilled and constantly reminded me of throughout the years:
That he was FORCED to pay the meager “Court Ordered” child support, yes the
meager “COURT ORDERED” child support for my sister and I until we both turned
21 years old.
- Dad, we both know that it cost you
a lot more than the $90 every week you resentfully sent us for child support
than it cost you to shop around, hire lawyers, adopt, and purchase another
child back in 1970. I am quite sure that she cost you thousands of dollars, yet
you cried to the judge that you had no money back then to pay for our medical
coverage, braces for our teeth, rent to your mother for living in her house for
free, catholic school, or any of our clothes and food. Where did all the money
come from to pay for that little adopted girl that you and your new wife Patti
Prince purchased around that same time?
- For years you have made others
laugh, but to those like myself who know the truth, your memoir exposes the
most significant tragedy of Pasquale Caputo’s life and legacy, which is that
you still have not yet been able to release all the sadness that dwells inside
your own heart. You are truly incapable of love, giving it or accepting it. I
truly hope that your personal torment will someday end and that you can face
the truth to free yourself of all the anger and anxiety that has so totally
consumed you for your entire life. It is only then that genuine love, happiness,
and peace will find their way into your hardened heart. It’s not too late…. you
should try it… it is a wonderful feeling… We as a family have felt it for
years!
- I also feel sad and scared for you
that in the last days of your life you will die alone, deaf, blind, without
love, in one room, maybe wearing diapers, maybe in a hospital, exactly like
your clinically depressed father did, another family member with whom you also
didn’t make peace with before he died. This is the way it is going to end for
you, too, and that is the part that most concerns me. And remember, this was
all YOUR choice!
- Another disturbing moment while listening
to some of the audio in 2012 of you on the Opie and Anthony radio show, ranting
and raving for fifty minutes with such anger, hate, and using profanity against
Howard Stern and his daughter, was when I realized and knew with certainty that
something had changed in you for the worse and that something was with your
mental health. I cried that day because I knew that wasn’t entertainment
anymore and this wasn’t my father. I was in disbelief that your friends and
agent hadn’t intervened before you would say something on that trash media show
you might regret. I knew from the conversation on the show that day that that
wasn’t the quick-witted talented comedian and funny man that I had remembered
from years past. That just gave me another reason to reach out again and actually
try and find out where your family was and who really had your back.
- It took me almost three years to get up the
nerve to come looking for you because I was sick and tired of always being
rejected by you. But I swallowed my pride again and decided to go to your
apartment building myself and thought I could maybe find out some of the
answers to my questions. But now I sadly know you haven’t changed one bit, not
even after writing a memoir that is supposed to be cathartic. And from our very
last phone conversation where you stated to me that I wasn’t welcomed in or
anywhere near your home, and you distinctly told me twice, to let you die in peace
and die the way you chose to die, I was left speechless. I am a man of my word
Dad, and I promise to respect your wishes, but I am still not comfortable
leaving you in that ill state of mind that is so apparent to everyone now. The
only good thing that can come out of all this is: I can finally move on with my
life and your minions can never say that I didn’t try hard enough. Maybe now they
will finally leave me alone, too!
- I still love you, Dad, and I am still
hurt by all the calls from your friends and very disgusted knowing that your
son-in-law, the one that you hired and left in control of all of your social
media pages: your Wikipedia page and your Facebook Page has now been diminished
to the point of disgrace and embarrassment. Also, to add insult to injury this
son-in-law of yours has closed down your website page, PatCooper.com. The only
thing that remains on your website is a picture of you with a yellow banner
over your mouth stating: CLOSED until further notice.
- I worry and I am very concerned
for your safety and well-being and I believe that your adopted daughter and her
husband do not have your best interest at heart, anymore. That was another
reason why I took a trip to your apartment just to see for myself what
conditions you were living in. It scared me half to death and brought flashbacks
and memories of your father right before he died.
- It was confirmed to me once again by
your agent/co-author that you really did have a falling out with your adopted daughter
and her husband and that you have fired Steve, your agent, and you have officially
retired. I guess that your son-in-law is no longer on your payroll and the
paychecks have finally stopped.
- Dad, the only part of your website
your son-in-law left up was this picture of you that I posted below just for
you to see what he is doing to your profile’s on-line. This behavior is utterly
disgraceful to a man and a legend whose career has spanned for more than six
decades. Here is a man, my father Pasquale Caputo, aka Pat Cooper, who has
taken care of his adopted daughter and her husband for years and now at the end
of his life, with failing physical and mental health, they are paying him back
by treating him like a senile worthless old man.
- I forgive you Dad and remember we
are blood. I am always here for you, even if you just need a hug!
